clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
