The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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