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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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