Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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