But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
