I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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