benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she pinky promised me she was 18
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
