dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You are a genius and a whore.
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