You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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