They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
how does that bad decision feel?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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