Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize