I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
