I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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