I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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