i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
