Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
