I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
how do flat chested girls get laid?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
