Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
