We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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