Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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