even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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