That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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