Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
