he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
