I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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