so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize