her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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