It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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