i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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