Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
