he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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