Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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