how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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