On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
