What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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