If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
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