And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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