Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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