Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
