How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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