I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
COCAINE IS GR8
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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