am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
there is glitter all over my balls
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