I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
