matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
In America we eat man semen.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
