just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
