Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Redeem this text for a blowjob
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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