Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
