It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
where are my eyebrows?
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