Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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