I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
