there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
