i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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