i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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