Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
