We need to rekindle our bromance
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
