I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
