Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
