I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
