This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
