The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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