Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
