This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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