I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize