Im at strip club and am horny
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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